This is one of the things you deal with in a situation like the one I'm in. I had a life built in Texas. Sure, it wasn't perfect. The people weren't, the job wasn't, hell, I wasn't. But it was a life, and I tried to live it as much as I could. I laughed, I cried, I played, I mourned.... And I did it all with the friends and family that I still hold dear.
However, I'm not there anymore, and they still are. It's the little things that drive this home. Things that my friends are doing sound great, but are simultaneously heart breaking: a barbeque that everyone is spontaneously invited to, where I can imagine myself sitting on a deck having a glass of wine and a laugh - an evening gathering of friends old and new who all share a common bond and have conversations mysteriously cycle back to that bond time and again. Every time I hear about something going on back there, there is a part of me that feels a little tug of sadness - just a bit of mourning for a life that was. However, I then remind myself that nothing stays the same, nor should it. The life I am building now is great. I've reconnected with old friends and am making new, while staying in touch with those that I have left. I still work, play, and live as much as I can, enjoying every moment for exactly what it is - a brief moment that has gifted me with the opportunity to make a new memory. All memories we have, new or old, are a precious gift for us to treasure, and I hold all of them - good and bad - close to my heart, thanking God for the opportunity to make them.
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