I Just Want To Thank You...

This year I found myself coming into my birthday much differently than I have in recent history. For the past handful of years I have operated by the "celebrate more" motto, and I knew that, solely due to my personal situation, this year would be different. This isn't a bad thing, it is, just, well, different. 


So, I found myself approaching my birthday not in what you would call the best of moods. Between the moving thing, the no job thing, and multiple other factors, I was just not in a great head space. (See prior post for stellar proof of this!)


Then my birthday happened. 


There are many people out there who mock social networks. They say that they are sending people further apart from each other, breaking the personal connections that they would otherwise have if they were communicating face to face. I'm here to tell you, though, that they are completely wrong.   


The well-wishes started coming in as early as the night before, and they didn't stop all day long.  Let me tell you - for someone who is feeling a little lonely, having so many people from all over the place wishing me a happy birthday is an amazing thing.  I know it isn't difficult. I know it is just something quick you do when you log onto Facebook or G+ and see the reminder that it is someone's birthday, but it means so much.


So I am writing today to thank you all.


Thank you for being there.  Thank you for constantly telling me that it will get better, and to keep my head held high.


I know this song was intended originally in a "significant other" type of situation, but it just seemed to fit.


So...... I Just Want to Thank You....

Please.

I was looking at my stats today, and realized it has been quite some time since I last posted.... and what a period of time it has been! When an extended period of time has passed, you start reflecting on what has happened. What seems like it should have happened over a long stretch of time was in reality only a matter of weeks. 


I still don't have a job - might as well start with that.  I've had first and second interviews, an interview that I thought was a third that was really a first, and days and days and days and days of sitting and waiting. The waiting is the worst. You try to convince yourself to not get your hopes up. You tell yourself to not expect anything. And yet, every time the phone rings, you can't help but jump and hope. 


There is a type of prayer called breath prayer.  Basically they are short, one sentence prayers that may be said in one breath as we breathe in and out(UMW). My adaptation has become a sort of phone ring prayer, consisting of the word "please" in time with the cycle of my phone ringing. 

*ring* "Please."
Please let this be something good.


*ring* "Please."

Please let it be someone calling me back.

*ring* "Please."
Please let this be an answer of some sort.


*ring* "Please."
Please. Just, Please.

There is also always the struggle to maintain some sort of optimism.  That might be the hardest part of all.  Keeping your head up, pretending it isn't as hard as it really is so that you aren't totally stressing out those around you. So that you aren't totally stressing out yourself. 

So, I will continue my prayers. I will continue telling myself that there is some sort of hope.

Eventually, I figure, something has to come true, right?