This Moment

This is a short story I wrote for a contest on NPR. It didn't win, but I am kinda proud of it and wanted to share. Enjoy!

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This Moment
M. Gard

Up until this point, everything was easy.

Don’t get me wrong - as it was all happening, it seemed like the hardest year ever.

Meetings, money, pandering, politicking - it was all just SO MUCH.  Every day I would wake up, convincing myself to keep going.  Every night I would ask myself if it was still worth it.   Did my ideas, beliefs, and supporters outweigh those yelling vitriol at me whenever I stopped long enough to listen?

I was so worried that I would filter too much, thinking I needed to hear the bad to stay motivated.  Finally Dee sat me down, pointing out that I was letting it keep me from what I care about - helping.  I was taken aback - I mean, really?  Me?  All I ever do is help my constituents, listen to their problems, try to find ways to fix everything.  Hearing that I was neglecting them was like taking a kick to the stomach. 

I decided at that moment to change, starting with having others filter out the negativity.  It helped lighten the mood, but I still understood the gravity of these moments I was experiencing.  I found that it was okay to still question what and why I was fighting, but now I used it to center myself.

There were other surreal moments - points in space where the gravity of it all seemed to be the only thing holding me down.  The convention was one of those moments. 

Because of the vote count, we knew what we wouldn’t say - “We could still lose.”  In the quagmire of politics nothing is ever certain.

But that moment - the one where I was standing in front of thousands chanting “USA”, accepting the nomination - held a panicked joy that I knew couldn’t be topped.  The song from every underdog movie of my childhood was stuck in my head on repeat, “We are the champions!”  I never spontaneously broke out of my prompted speech and into song.  I swear.  Everyone else joining in with my not-singing? Frosting and cherries.

It was crazy.  That’s all I can think that explains that moment when everyone cheered and the confetti and fireworks started flying and the music started playing and all I could see was my amazing family coming on stage to join me. 
Totally.
Completely.
Insane.

Topping that?  No way.  I knew that other moments would be awesome - finding out we won, being introduced as “President Elect”, touring the White House (anyone who says they don’t want to jump on the Lincoln bed is lying) - but that moment in the convention was our entire focus.

I was nuts to think that would be the best moment, that everything else would be easy. 

Now I’m here.

The Chief Justice is asking me to repeat after him, and all I can think is how quiet it seems. How loud he sounds.

“I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.”

The sound rushes in.  Up until that point I couldn’t hear anything but what The Chief was saying.  Now I can’t hear anything but cheering, feeling the rush of it break over me like a riptide, dragging my attention back out to the masses that have gathered.  I’m holding my breath, waiting, knowing it is about to get even louder.

Up until this moment, everything was easy.  Now?

Now, everything changes.

“Congratulations, Madam President.”

The XXX Olympiad

My last two weeks have been consumed by two things - a new job (YAY!!) and the Olympics.  I'll be blogging on the former later, as I'm trying to still wrap my head around it all and come up with something more coherent than "Holy crap holy crapholycrap!".  I would like to, for now, ruminate on a few things that have struck a chord with me during the XXX Olympiad.

First thought: "The XXX Olympiad"

Anytime I see "XXX", I can't help making the association with the movie XXX, and sports more often associated with youthful craziness and the X-Games. I find this association quite appropriate as sports like BMX biking are starting to be recognized by "the establishment" and gain so much ground at an international level.  I LOVE these sports. I love watching them, I love the dedication of the athletes, and I love the sheer doggedness of participating in something that you KNOW is going to make people think you are unworthy of recognition even as you give blood and sweat to it. The great thing about the XXX Olympics was that you very seldom heard the announcers discussing this aspect of these sports.  You instead heard them giving intelligent commentaries on the sport, the courses, and the athleticism of those competing. It was great.

Second thought: "Players vs. Politicians"

I don't know about the rest of you, but the local commercials where I am were taken over in an extremely high percentage by political smear ads.  We saw some national level ones too, but not as many (mainly due to the political leanings of this area).  It was one of those things I just kept tuning out, until around the time when all of the swimming finals started happening.

    At the end of each race almost every athlete, regardless of nationality or finishing-placement, would spend a moment of their celebration or defeat congratulating those around them on a well-swum race.  This happened over and over and over again.  And then, with the telecasting as it was, you would immediately cut to a commercial, often involving some politician or other tearing their opponents into shreds.  

    I'm a strange person.  I really like the time period surrounding elections.  I like hearing people's ideas on how to maybe help, I like seeing the possibilities of the future.  I like the process of it, of knowing that we can go through the process of it.  I know there are issues with it, and that it has so many problems, and that is what it is.  But.  I totally, completely, and indubitable HATE when politicians do this to each other. And this year? Only seems worse because of the in-your-face juxtaposition created by by the Olympics vs. politics.

There are many things that make me proud to live where I do - many things that make me, cliche as it may be, proud to be an American.  The Olympics and our participation therein are one of them.  Our political system is another.  The methods of the politicians? Not so much.

So, here's hoping that those politicians take some sort of lesson from the athletes of the XXX Olympiad.

Here's know that they probably won't.

One is Silver and the Other Gold

How do you console yourself when you are no longer a part of a group?
This is one of the things you deal with in a situation like the one I'm in. I had a life built in Texas. Sure, it wasn't perfect. The people weren't, the job wasn't, hell, I wasn't. But it was a life, and I tried to live it as much as I could. I laughed, I cried, I played, I mourned.... And I did it all with the friends and family that I still hold dear.

However, I'm not there anymore, and they still are. It's the little things that drive this home. Things that my friends are doing sound great, but are simultaneously heart breaking: a barbeque that everyone is spontaneously invited to, where I can imagine myself sitting on a deck having a glass of wine and a laugh - an evening gathering of friends old and new who all share a common bond and have conversations mysteriously cycle back to that bond time and again.

Every time I hear about something going on back there, there is a part of me that feels a little tug of sadness - just a bit of mourning for a life that was.  However, I then remind myself that nothing stays the same, nor should it.  The life I am building now is great. I've reconnected with old friends and am making new, while staying in touch with those that I have left.  I still work, play, and live as much as I can, enjoying every moment for exactly what it is - a brief moment that has gifted me with the opportunity to make a new memory. All memories we have, new or old, are a precious gift for us to treasure, and I hold all of them - good and bad - close to my heart, thanking God for the opportunity to make them.

A Tale of Two Interviews

I had a second interview! The interesting thing is that this is the second second interview I've had in the recent past, and they couldn't have been any more different from each other.  My interview today was everything that I believe a second interview should be, and the first one I went on was the opposite. 

Today's interview was great - very little review of what was covered in the first interview, and lots of building specifics pertaining to my skills and abilities. I felt that they were interested in learning what I can bring to the table in order to help the organization grow.  

The first time I had a second interview? Yeah, totally different story.  That interview was basically a recap of the entire first interview, and consisted of me attempting to share the exact same information in a new and interesting way.  The whole time it was happening I was having a hard time not thinking, "Why are you asking this?  A - I already gave you all these answers. B - ALL of this information is on my resume - did you even read my resume?!"

So - thank you to those who interview well.  Thank you to those who take the time to learn about those they are interviewing, and allow us to build more upon what we've discussed with you in the past.  Keep up the good work!

A Job A Job!

Well, I have a job!!  It's part time, and only for a month, but it is SOMETHING!  Is it silly that I am as psyched about it as I am? I think not.

It gets to a point, when you are unemployed, that no matter how much you find to occupy your time, how many things you volunteer for, how many books you read to distract yourself, that you just start getting BORED.

So, I will be teaching swimming lessons, and I'm really kinda psyched about it. I get to be around people (well, kids, and they often count more than adults do!), get out of the house, and get some exercise in the process.

Wish me well!!

The NEW Job Count

I've found myself getting, understandably, frustrated as of late.  Much of this can be attributed by a company that has been stringing me along for about the last three months now.  So, I'm working to come at this with a new, and hopefully improved, attitude.

So, I'm starting a Job Count (as seen to the right!!) per the suggestion of a great friend.  I'll tally how many applications I've sent in, how many times I've heard back (beyond just the auto-reply that comes from everyone), and how many interviews I've gotten from those applications.  And I'm doing this all from a brand new Square One - with the first applications having gone in last Friday.

So. Wish me luck.  Also, let me know if there is anything else I should include in the count!!

I Just Want To Thank You...

This year I found myself coming into my birthday much differently than I have in recent history. For the past handful of years I have operated by the "celebrate more" motto, and I knew that, solely due to my personal situation, this year would be different. This isn't a bad thing, it is, just, well, different. 


So, I found myself approaching my birthday not in what you would call the best of moods. Between the moving thing, the no job thing, and multiple other factors, I was just not in a great head space. (See prior post for stellar proof of this!)


Then my birthday happened. 


There are many people out there who mock social networks. They say that they are sending people further apart from each other, breaking the personal connections that they would otherwise have if they were communicating face to face. I'm here to tell you, though, that they are completely wrong.   


The well-wishes started coming in as early as the night before, and they didn't stop all day long.  Let me tell you - for someone who is feeling a little lonely, having so many people from all over the place wishing me a happy birthday is an amazing thing.  I know it isn't difficult. I know it is just something quick you do when you log onto Facebook or G+ and see the reminder that it is someone's birthday, but it means so much.


So I am writing today to thank you all.


Thank you for being there.  Thank you for constantly telling me that it will get better, and to keep my head held high.


I know this song was intended originally in a "significant other" type of situation, but it just seemed to fit.


So...... I Just Want to Thank You....

Please.

I was looking at my stats today, and realized it has been quite some time since I last posted.... and what a period of time it has been! When an extended period of time has passed, you start reflecting on what has happened. What seems like it should have happened over a long stretch of time was in reality only a matter of weeks. 


I still don't have a job - might as well start with that.  I've had first and second interviews, an interview that I thought was a third that was really a first, and days and days and days and days of sitting and waiting. The waiting is the worst. You try to convince yourself to not get your hopes up. You tell yourself to not expect anything. And yet, every time the phone rings, you can't help but jump and hope. 


There is a type of prayer called breath prayer.  Basically they are short, one sentence prayers that may be said in one breath as we breathe in and out(UMW). My adaptation has become a sort of phone ring prayer, consisting of the word "please" in time with the cycle of my phone ringing. 

*ring* "Please."
Please let this be something good.


*ring* "Please."

Please let it be someone calling me back.

*ring* "Please."
Please let this be an answer of some sort.


*ring* "Please."
Please. Just, Please.

There is also always the struggle to maintain some sort of optimism.  That might be the hardest part of all.  Keeping your head up, pretending it isn't as hard as it really is so that you aren't totally stressing out those around you. So that you aren't totally stressing out yourself. 

So, I will continue my prayers. I will continue telling myself that there is some sort of hope.

Eventually, I figure, something has to come true, right?

Why The Madness Keeps Us Sane

Whenever I turn on the news, check a website, or look through a paper, I am constantly reminded by so many people that "THESE ARE TRYING TIMES", "IT'S ONLY GOING TO GET WORSE", and "JUST GIVE IN NOW TO THE INEVITABLE DOOM". The economy is fighting to come back, people hate people, we are fighting loosing battles everywhere in defense of freedom (something that too many of us take for granted), and most of those in power can only seem to resort to petty arguments over inconsequential things.


It should not surprise us, then, that we live and breathe for our teams - especially those who are making fairy-tale-like runs to best the proverbial Goliaths of their sport.  This fight, this struggle, this battle which we every-day Joe's feel like we are waging by proxy, is one of the last tangible things we have to motivate us to face the next day's earthly and all-too-real issues.


I'm a Kansas Jayhawk, born and bred.  I have rooted for the 'Hawks for as long as I can remember, and too have memories of the ups and the downs.  That famous buzzer-beating-shot? I was jumping up and down, screaming in joy.  The loss to VCU? I was standing, still and quiet, heartbroken.  The oddity of being a Kansas fan is that, in both situations, you are never surprised.  We simultaneously expect both the best and the worst to happen.  Being a Jayhawk fan isn't just liking a team, it is a completely different state of mind.  We expect our team to do their best, play their hardest, and leave everything they can on the court.  And when they don't?  We are bitterly disappointed in them, and have to constantly remind ourselves that there will be another team and another season.


I think that it is the similarities between this and our lives that make March, and sports in general, so important to us. During the regular season (non-conference play included) approximately 293,400 individual tickets were sold for the Men's Basketball games at Allen Fieldhouse.  Last Thursday night, on CBS alone (not counting cable networks showing other games), viewing topped out at 7.01 million.  Saturday night? 10.24 million viewers. Watching a game. On TV.


Sports are important. Basketball is important. March is VERY important.  There is a sense of connection that we have with the teams we root for, whether they are life-long commitments or Cinderella picks. We live through the player's trials.  When Darnell Jackson's mom died, the Jayhawk ranks closed quickly for support.  When Thomas Robinson's mother died, the Lawrence community, Jayhawks everywhere, and college basketball fans around the country lent their support in any way they could.  These players, mere boys, fight for us, bleed for us, struggle for us, and we are grateful.


We are grateful for the moments in the sun. We are grateful for the moments of joyful escape.  We are even grateful for the moments of failure, because it just proves that they are human, just like we are. We are grateful, and we look forward to the next season, the next game, the next flight or fall, because it gives another day to look forward to.  

Still Searching

One huge part of all of the change in my life has had nothing to do with my job search.  Rather, it has had to do with my church search.

The Jesus Fountain at White's Chapel

I put it off for quite some time.  Church is a very large, definitive part of who I am and what I do, and changing churches is hard.  My last church, White's Chapel United Methodist Church (WCUMC), was fantastic, and I was spoiled.  It was a big enough church to have amazing programs, but still honestly felt like it wasn't a "Mega-church".  The music program is incredible, and the pastors never preach a sermon without first thanking the orchestra, choir, and any soloists or ensembles.  This is amazing to me - and is definitely not something that I've seen before in a church.  It also makes finding something new even harder.

I decided this past Sunday to try out a church that was of comparable size (slightly larger membership that WCUMC), hoping that I would find a similar situation.  Unfortunately, I didn't.  Everything that I loved about White's Chapel was absent, and everything that I dislike about "Mega-churches" was present.  The hardest part was that while I was sitting there, I kept having to tell myself over and over to keep giving it a chance, to not come to a quick judgement, to keep an open mind.  I can see that, for people who are new to church, this location would be great  - the service was very informative and educational.  However, for me, not so much.

So, the search continues.  Much like looking for a job, or trying to pick a college, the process might take a while.  I'm hoping, though, that it won't take too long.  Church to me is about two major things - faith and community.  Church brings me a second family, often of people with similar beliefs and ideas and hobbies (re: MUSIC!!).  Church brings me comfort, routine, and solace - all things that are so often absent when going through the oft-times hapless search for a new job. 

So - the status of my life/job hunt/ church hunt?  

Still searching.

The Wait...

Well, I've had a first and second interview for a job, and now I'm dealing with the wait. They did say that they want to make sure they get the right person for the job, versus just getting a warm body, which is a good thing. However, I'm also trying to not be crazy impatient. Patience is definitely NOT a virtue I am currently in possession of. Interestingly enough, Mom told me earlier that I'm much more patient than she is about the whole thing!

Moral of the story- I'm still waiting. I'll send a follow up email to them tomorrow, but beyond that I am completely unable to change the circumstances. And that, my friends, is what sucks the most.

The Casual Dress Conundrum

    I remember vividly the day at my old job when we were told that we could wear casual dress all the time.  Everyone was happy - much rejoicing happened after the meeting.  Casual dress ALL THE TIME - what could be better?!  

    Now, in the midst of my job search, I am learning the dark side of constant casual dress.  When looking through my wardrobe, not just for the purpose of interviewing, but for the future purposes of possibly having a new job, I quickly realized that I have very little appropriate clothing!!  

    The Society for Human Resource Management reported in 1999 that 95% of U.S. companies had some sort of "casual day" policy, in comparison to only 24% in 1992.  Levi Strauss also claimed in 1999 that 75% of U.S. workers dressed casually every day in 1999.  This trend changed a bit in the 2000's, with 19% of fortune 500 companies reinstating business dress policies, but the percentages still remain high of those that allow casual dress.

   What does this mean for me?  Well, my foreseeable future budget is a bit different.  I am now not only working in bill payments, but I am working in clothing costs too.  And it is also something that I wouldn't necessarily want to go out and replace completely in one fell swoop.  Due to the trends that clothing stores follow seasonally, I would prefer to replace the missing wardrobe over time, so that I have a mix of clothing styles and colors.  

    Don't get me wrong - I'm definitely not complaining!  I mean, a reason to go spend money?!  Heck yeah!!  It just makes me wonder - how often do people go through this due to job changes?  Not only ones like I'm going through, but also people who go from working from home to working in an office, or people who haven't been working in a while, and then start working again?  

    So, long story short, a new wardrobe is in the making.  We shall see how it grows!!

Takin' the Long Way

It's been a few days, and my brain is just not producing anything awe-inspiring, so I am resorting to the words of others which seem to define myself.

My friends from high school
Married their high school boyfriends
Moved into houses in the same ZIP codes
Where their parents live

But I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow

I hit the highway in a pink RV with stars on the ceiling
Lived like a gypsy
Six strong hands on the steering wheel

I've been a long time gone now
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
But I've always found my way somehow

By taking the long way
Taking the long way around
Taking the long way
Taking the long way around

I met the queen of whatever
Drank with the Irish and smoked with the hippies
Moved with the shakers
Wouldn't kiss all the asses that they told me to

No I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow

It's been two long years now
Since the top of the world came crashing down
And I'm getting' it back on the road now

But I'm taking the long way
Taking the long way around
I'm taking the long way
Taking the long way around
The long
The long way around

Well, I fought with a stranger and I met myself
I opened my mouth and I heard myself
It can get pretty lonely when you show yourself
Guess I could have made it easier on myself

But I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow

Well, I never seem to do it like anybody else
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
If you ever want to find me I can still be found

Taking the long way
Taking the long way around


~The Dixie Chicks

This Will Make You Feel Better

I have had in the back of my mind the quote written below.  It is from the walls of Jen's Place Bakery in Dallas, TX.  I had taken a picture of it at one point, but it was lost.  Their amazing owner took the time to respond to an email from me (with very sketchy details, I might add!), and sent me a picture!!
If you haven't been to Jen's, I highly recommend it (especially the cookies!).  Special thanks to Gary Maroulis, Owner and Operator, who took the time out to send me a pic of this quote!!

If you sometimes get discouraged, consider this fellow:
He dropped out of grade school.
Ran a country store.
Went broke.
Took 15 years to pay off his bills.
Took a wife.
Unhappy marriage.
Ran for House.
Lost twice.
Ran for Senate.
Lost twice.
Delivered speech that became a classic.
Audience indifferent.
Attacked daily by the press and despised by half the country.
Despite all this, image how many people
all over the world
have been inspired
by this awkward,
rumpled,
brooding man
who signed his name, simply,
A. Lincoln


(Quote found also on http://www.grandlifestyle.com/ft/lincoln.htm)

The Online Job Search Obstacles....

    If you go back even 5 years ago, it seemed as though the most efficient way to search and apply for jobs was online.  Sites such as Monster.com and CareerBuilder.com were exploding, sucking the masses into their job-providing frenzy at a time when some of the largest percentages of Americans were unemployed.  Now, however, this tide seems to be turning.  

    A few statistics (taken from the article 50+ Job Search Statistics You Need To Know on careerchangechallenge.com):

    - Online Marketing (online resume posting) yields an 8% chance of success in uncovering the next job opportunity.  This rate MATCHES those of 2003 when this strategy was still in its infancy.

    - Referrals from within the organization (18%) and outside the organization (9%) are the most successful ways to land an opportunity.

    Statistics like this stagger but don't surprise me when I look back over my job search of the last handful of months.  It has become the running joke-that-isn't-really-a-joke in the realm of those looking for a job: "Go ahead and send in a resume through an online site.  Good luck, though, because at that point it just disappears into the ethos, with a slim chance of ever being seen again."  Online sites have become the Phantom Zone of the job-hunting world.  This shouldn't surprise me when looking back, especially when I begin considering the massive number of times I have sent my resume out.  What is even more sad is the low number of times I was excited to even get a "We're sorry, but..." reply through email (a grand total of 3, out of the approximate 40 applications that have been submitted).  Excited.  To be told I didn't get the job.

    Something scarier happened to me via one of these sites this week.  It was a spontaneous email from an "employer".  This is not a reply to a job I found and applied to, rather one of those emails that the "employer" sends out to "candidates they feel fit their needs."  I've received these before - always for a "high paying position in sales" - but never one that met the level of disturbing sketchiness that this one does.  It had the subject line "your resume", and the email was titled "Best Career Ever" from andrewj70@hotmail.com.  The full email read as follows:

    Hello Melissa Gard

    Your contact was brought to us from CareerBuilder

    We're making a network of courier agents so we're looking to hire people.

    Learn of our nice idea

    Drop us an email gggcoby29@gmail.com and we will write a response to you in 24 hours
    PLEASE DO NOT REPLY DIRECTLY, USE ABOVEMENTIONED EMAIL

    Thanks
    Alan

    First of all, this is from CareerBuilder, for goodness' sake.  Really, CareerBuilder?  Could we not screen employers a bit more?  Secondly, all of my information clearly states that I'm looking for something within the editing field.  Could you please maybe think about that before sending me an email with a distinct LACK of correct grammar and punctuation?  Third, all I can think when I hear "courier agent" is ILLEGAL ILLEGAL ILLEGAL!!!  Like, screaming red flag illegal!

    Luckily, I'm not far enough gone yet that I ever even thought about replying to the email. Because, well, seriously! I feel gross just reading it!  I can see, however, how people would check it out.  I read an article today that was titled "6 Scientific Discoveries that Laugh in the Face of Science".  I am truly tempted to send them the statistics of my job search, because I keep telling myself that the Law of Averages has to kick in at SOME POINT, but it just keeps on not happening.  What this tells me is that it is past time to change my game.  It is time to decide what outcome I want, and shape everything that happens towards meeting that end.

What If...

    You know when there are moments when something happens that seemingly speaks directly to your life, even though you know logically that it wasn't meant that way?  Like the money that comes out of nowhere right when you need it, or the delay in your morning routine that helps you avoid a massive accident, or the quote randomly written on a wall that fits perfectly in with your current life situation?
    Last night there was a new episode of NCIS - a show I watch religiously. This episode, however, was different than they have been in the past. Woven through the episode was a theme of "what if".  They showed Gibbs what life would be like for not only himself but all of those around him, if the good and bad things in his life had happened differently.  The moment that really hit me was when one character stated that we are not only responsible for the actions we take, but also for the results of those actions and the people that are touched as a result.
    I think that anyone could look through their lives over the past year, myself included, and see one bad moment after another.  When you are in the moment nothing feels like it will get better.  Nothing could improve, and nothing is happening for any good reason. But, like in the episode yesterday, our actions cause reactions.  Time doesn't stand still.  The world really does keep spinning, one revolution after another, and tomorrow really does come.  We have to keep reminding ourselves that although it may seem bad now, and it may seem bad tomorrow, eventually it will get better.  We also have to keep reminding ourselves that what we do and how we act during the bad times will have a lasting impact on not only our lives but the lives of those around us.

Starting At Square One

    It is safe to say that my history of starting over goes back about ten years. I had been a music therapy student for four years, and decided it wasn't for me, switching my major to English, and moving to Texas.  Then, after completing my degree, I got a job at the T-System, Inc., a company that I enjoyed working for in a job that I could see had growth potential.  I worked my way up to a project management type position, then things became stagnant.  During the 6 years I was doing all of this at the T-system, the company went through many changes, eventually culminating in a "not-a-takeover" by an investment company and a complete change-over of management.
    After six years, multiple raises and position changes, many supervising managers, and many "learning opportunities", I found myself in the position of no longer agreeing with the direction or philosophies of the company, unable to enjoy my job, and becoming physically ill at the thought of going in to work each morning.  And so I took my second great leap of faith, quitting my job in what many are deeming the worst economy and job market ever.
    When I first quit, I took the option of cashing out my 401k, giving myself 3 months in which to find a job.  I was confident that this would not necessarily be easy, but at least feasible.  At the beginning of January things hit a critical point.  I have now moved in with my parents in Kansas, and am really starting over from square one.  I'm not sure how it will go, and I'm taking so many thing on faith that I get panicky just thinking about it, but I am doing what I have to in order to continue placing one foot in front of the other.
    I also decided, at the suggestion and encouragement of many wonderful friends, that it would not only be informative for them but cathartic for myself to keep a blog about all of this.  I will be attempting to update at least once a day, but we will see how that goes.  I may be sharing how the job hunting is going, I may be sharing an inspirational poem or quote, or I may just be saying that there is nothing to say, but I will be trying my hardest.
    That is, after all, the most that anyone can expect when your world feels like it has been washed clean and then tossed into a salad spinner, waiting for the motions to start drying it all off again.